we survived the apocalypse that was a lie to begin with. i know now that i write this we will all die in flames. i'm sorry humanity. i'm also just kidding.
today i woke up alone with my dog at my feet in an apartment that isn't mine. i'm stranded, by choice, so i'm told by the loving roommate that kicked me out. yes, i will stick to my story, knowing that there is always two sides to a coin. all is forgiven, but still...my car is full of my belongings that i wish i could toss over a bridge and watch scatter over the ocean and never think again about anything that was lost. but then i'd be polluting.
i have one last night at where i am staying, where i am grateful, to be able to do yoga and meditate again, alone, and in a peaceful place. then where? i hate to burden anyone now, especially after what i just went through. i am an intruder. people need their space. people require their space. don't enter their ora or else, you will be homeless. that's my lesson, unfortunately. another lesson i realized is that no matter what you say to someone or how earnestly you implore understanding, people will hear only the story they want. and i am no exception. i am human. i get angry, hungry, jealous, not so much greedy (only when there is only one orange skittle left in a bag that i'm sharing with someone else who also loves orange skittles; true story)
taste that fucking rainbow darlin'.
so today, i'm alone in someone else's apartment typing this lame story to myself. merry christmas rainbow. we all love you. we all adore you. we all need you.
the worst part of this love story is that i need all of you too. i love all of you. i adore all of you. i'm only still here because of all of the love that has been bestowed upon me by all of you.
i know i am not perfect. i extremely dislike lizards. i make more mistakes than the average person. i hurt more people than should be allowed by the police department. but know, i never mean to. there is no bad intention in my body towards anyone else. the only hurt comes from within which unfortunately radiates out at times and for this, i'm sorry world. i am my own kryptonite.
all i ever want to hear is "I love you, Rainbow." now you know, the voices in my head, they are real.